"Happiness Only When Shared"

I did not realize there was a book to this movie, I am sure I will read the written form of this story now. I watched the movie again last evening, but turned it off just as he was meeting the older gentleman. I could not bear to watch the sadness of this man again, and I did not want to see "Alex's" death. (Especially how his death was shot, images of his parents and him smiling in their arms. It disappointed me they would assume what he was thinking right in that very moment. It is a special moment of transition and it is only for him to know.)

I don't want this to sound cliche', I am not meaning it in a literal form. This movie struck deep because I understand it, it makes me mad but I get it. I have felt similar feelings at a younger age, but now being a mother those thoughts seem so far withdrawn. I have felt the anger, I have wanted it to be only me, I have taken off on a traveling quest, I have been extremely selfish in that way but not cared, I have felt the frustration of life in that artistic manner and looked for "truth", I've wanted to go far away. He did it to the extreme, but came to the realization that he was lonely. Maybe he may have never gotten there without Alaska or maybe he would have in a healthier manner. While poisoned in shaky hand writing he wrote, "Happiness only when shared". Us artist tend to have a hard time growing up and tend to be very selfish.

The relationships he made; his "parents", his "best farming friend", his "grandfather", the young woman whom loved him, were all engraved so deeply into each other. It makes me so sad to think that neither party will be able to connect again. They were balanced relationships and both are loosing out. It is not felt by him now because he is dead, but I am sure after the realization of death it was felt. If his past was so bad, then he could have used these "new" family members as his family and re-created his life into what he needed. He was just unable to see past his own pain.

He was an extremist, he was young, he was selfish, he was on his OWN quest. Nobody else mattered. I can only hope he conquered these things in Alaska. It is such a confusing thought to understand but disagree so strongly and be angry at the progression of his actions. I also think about my children and it scares me.

So - to not leave you all on such a weird note, and because I can't imagine a post without a photo. He is my own personal "CHIP".

I don't know what he is thinking with those shades. Actually, I really think he likes to make me laugh and he looks so much like a cocky police officer, I just can't get enough.